In popular culture, the term “narcissistic” can be thrown around quite loosely, usually referring to a person’s vanity and self-absorption. However, little community awareness exists on the impact of narcissistic relationships on peoples’ lives. While narcissism is a personality trait and exists on a spectrum, from healthy to pathological, pathological narcissism as a full-fledged personality disorder is quite different.
It is important in any kind of relationship (employment, family, friends, romantic, business) that we learn to identify unhealthy behaviours when interacting with individuals who display pathological narcissism and/or dark tetrad personality traits, so we can protect ourselves. Understanding unhealthy interactions and how they affect us can have enormous impact on our wellbeing and self-care.
People with narcissistic patterns can be very good at playing mind games, including:
- power and control struggles, deceitfulness, manipulative.
- emotional manipulation: love bombing, play the victim.
- wear different masks, i.e., superficial charm, nice in public, abusive in private.
Individuals who meet the criteria for narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) can operate in extremely manipulative ways within the context of any relationship due to their lack of empathy and tendency to be interpersonally exploitative to gain power and control over others.
The clinical definition within the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition, Text Revision (DSM-5-TR) (2013),Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a cluster B personality disorder defined as comprising a pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behaviour), a constant need for admiration, and a lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by the presence of at least 5 of the following 9 criteria:
- A grandiose sense of self-importance
- A preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
- A belief that he or she is special and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people or institutions
- A need for excessive admiration
- A sense of entitlement
- Interpersonally exploitive behaviour
- A lack of empathy
- Envy of others or a belief that others are envious of him or her
- A demonstration of arrogant and haughty behaviours or attitudes
These patterns are long standing in that it cuts across many areas of the individuals life. For a formal diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) the patterns must involve social and occupational impairment and subjective distress.
The above is the clinical definition of NPD, however the way pathological narcissism operates can be covert and complex than the visible signs of narcissism depicted in the DSM 5.
We know there are other types of narcissism:
- overt narcissism
- covert narcissism
- antagonistic narcissism
- communal narcissism
- malignant narcissism
- somatic narcissism
- cerebral narcissism
Even though only a mental health professional working directly with a person can officially diagnose an individual as having a personality disorder, it can still be useful to learn more about the differences between narcissistic behaviours and traits, and the actual disorder. Please feel free to contact me if you wish to gain knowledge about narcissism, and how it manifests in a range of different relationships and settings.
I frequently provide psychology services for people who have difficulties dealing with partners, employers, parents, or family members that are on the mild, moderate, and severe end of the narcissistic spectrum.
If you feel that you are struggling with challenges in your life from Narcissistic Abuse and unhealthy relationships and are looking for a Psychologist well versed about Narcissism who specialises in Narcissistic Abuse Recovery and don’t know where to begin, please reach out and contact me to see if my service is a good fit for your needs.
REFERENCES
- American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed.). Arlington, VA: American Psychiatric Publishing.
- In a Relationship with a Narcissist? What You Need to Know About Narcissistic Relationships
- Narcissistic Personality Disorder vs. Normal Narcissism
